The Act of Sharing: Part One - Social Media

Nitter, Natter.

Human beings. We love a good natter. Don’t believe me? Put ITV on at 12:30pm during the week.

Social Media

Social media has risen around our very desire for a good natter; and to allow us to indulge in what it is others are nattering on about. We live in a world where we are able to natter to an audience that far exceeds the capacity you could humanely fit into your typical 90’s Manhattan coffee shop without having to leave the house.

Of course, our pursuit to talk, share and connect with others isn’t a recent development. We were doing it far before the social media boom or the invention of the telephone. Technology has brought convenience. And we’ve reached the point where it’s arguably easier to message someone then it is to meet and talk in person. Knocking on someone's door is now considered caveman like, it has become the norm to just call and let them know you’re outside. A wall post or text message instead of a card and a catch up.

We are now doing things that we NEVER did before too. Remember when you’d take a picture of your christmas tree to show all your mates at the pub? Or what about the fabled school picture album? You know... the one that was filled with pictures of our little ones in their school uniform, poetically positioned near a door at the start of every school year? I don’t remember that either, yet they’ve both become an annual tradition on many a Facebook newsfeed. We’re sharing more and more, why? Because we are able to.

Look, I don’t have a vendetta against social media or anything, but I do find how we use it rather amusing at times. Not everything we do needs logic and reason. The world would be terribly boring if it did. And it absolutely does have its practical uses. It’s great to be able to keep in touch with old or distant friends and see how they’re doing; and vice versa. Social media has made keeping “in touch” (as it were) a doddle. Having a platform to maintain and develop friendships/relationships is definitely a positive. When we see a nice selfie or a holiday picture, it’s great that we can find joy and share in other people's happiness; Empathy is good. What does concern me are the other aspects that maybe we don’t openly talk about or admit.

Life Through a Filter

What we see and share is life through a filter. Reality is often hidden from full display. We choose how we wish to portray ourselves to others and the world at large, and we often leave out the less interesting bits. We don’t upload the other five selfies we took before we got the one we liked. Those holiday snaps don’t show the delay at the airport or any of the arguments that took place before, during or after.

And why should they? If we were to be completely honest and portray the true reality of everything all of the time, it wouldn’t be as appealing would it? It wouldn’t feel quite right to press ‘like’ on reality. Reality isn’t black or white. Would we be sharing too much if we did?

I’m not saying it’s bad to show the good stuff. Neither am I advising we share everything. Maybe we could be a little more balanced, and we could all start on a personal level; hey, I’m striving to find that balance here with myself. It may be beneficial to take a step back occasionally and ask ourselves, why are we writing that post? What’s the reason for sharing that?

Be it consciously or unconsciously, when browsing our newsfeeds, most of us have likely been guilty of comparing our own lives to what others decide to show us about their own. And chances are, you’ll agree with me that we don’t feel too good about ourselves when we do. What’s important going forward is that we are able look at all this content with clarity. What do I mean by that? As I’ve mentioned, it’s very easy to forget that what we see has been handpicked to show a certain side of a story. It is rarely the whole story. And I’ll admit now, I’ve been guilty of forgetting this on occasion. But, if we can take that step back from our egoic mind and see the bigger picture, and not hold ourselves to a standard based on that which is unobtainable, we’ll be in a much better position to enjoy our real lives.

The reality behind reality

I can’t help but feel that, in more extreme cases, our usage is starting to border obsession; breeding an unhealthy mentality that encourages competition and a desire for external validation (especially in the younger generation). Quite recently in the media, we’ve heard from the likes of Sean Parker, a founding president of Facebook until his departure in 2005, who has, to much controversy, stated that the aim at Facebook was not to merely unite us like their mission statement suggests, but to distract us by exploiting human psychology. How exactly? He went on to highlight the theory behind tools such as the dopamine-driven feedback loop:

“Whenever someone likes or comments on a post or photograph, we... give you a little dopamine hit”.

It’s a feedback loop that can very easily consume us. We post. We get a notification telling us that such a person has liked or commented. And short term, it makes us feel good; so we keep doing it. We get more likes, we feel great! And chances are, if you don’t get as many (or any) likes, you’ll feel less good. Not because you’re a self-centred snob. I’d never say that. It’s because you’re human.

Now, before you get the tinfoil out of the cupboard to fashion yourself a hat, I’m not going to start comparing Facebook to Skynet or anything like that. Parker left the company far before it became the giant it is today. And I honestly don’t believe that anyone could have forecast the growth and influence that Facebook has gained in its entirety. But the fact is, regardless of whether or not it was forecast, the influence that Facebook (and social media in general) has on society is huge. It’s become an integral part of how we communicate with other and the world. I’d argue it is no longer merely a tool at this point. Maybe I’ve watched too much Black Mirror (Season 3, Episode 1: Nosedive *hint, hint!*). Or maybe Charlie Brooker is right in his creative vision. A little awareness on how and why we’re using it is all I’m trying to encourage.

Share, but be self-content

I no longer browse Facebook for the reasons I have mentioned. And personally, I definitely have benefitted from my absence. I now have to see people or get in touch with them to catch up and see how they’re doing. And that suits me just fine.

I still browse the likes of Reddit and Twitter, mainly to keep updated with the news, memes and cat/pupper gifs. When I do share, I make sure to question myself as to why I’m doing so first. I don’t do it because of the feedback loop (I actively turn off notifications to stop the temptation). And I honestly don’t mind if my instagram photos get no likes or ten. I wouldn’t even mind if no one reads this thing. I do these things for me because I enjoy taking pictures and writing stuff. Sharing is good, but we should be self-content in doing so. Don’t you agree?

Check out Sharing: Part 2!

Note: As with all content on this site, unless expressed otherwise, this is an opinion piece. I don’t actually claim to know anything! That’s not entirely true, I do claim to know some things. But not enough to the extent that I can claim that I do! So I ask you to keep that in mind and form your own opinion. If you are able to relate to what I say, super! If you can’t relate, super! Through discussion, hopefully we will be able to view the world more clearly. A shared mindfulness.